As we move forward to the year 2011, we cannot help but look to the previous year. Our failures and triumphs are both extremely relevant to our learning and growth. During the transition from one year to the following, it is important to remain in the moment as frequently as possible. Imagining too far ahead in search of prospective successes and hopes can set us back. While the completed year is a portion of us, it is a mere reflection of where we have been. Experiment with thinking of the past as if you are looking into a rear-view mirror. You can recognize where you were, but if you focus too hard on that picture, you may very well lose sight of the present. From the family at This Should Help we wish you a happy and prosperous New Year!
Many self-helpers suggest that confidence is all that is required to become successful. This statement is like saying that all you need to do is think positive. Confidence as with many issues has two sides, much like positive thinking. Those who present these ideas also tell us we must take action, step outside our comfort zones and face our fears! This advice toward productivity is sound and useful. However, understand that increasing your confidence is not the actual goal. The goal is to become competent in different areas of your life. We learn confidence when we learn what not to do, but to become competent we must learn what to do. This is where examining your negative thinking and what you don’t like or want, comes into play. We can succeed and do anything we desire, but confidence will only take us so far.
Last week I visited to the Optometrist and as expected, I needed glasses. He recommended progressive lenses. My eyesight is excellent for distance but my eyes need a little help up close. The doctor told me that I do not have to wear the glasses all the time. However, he requested that I wear them as much as practicable for the first three to four weeks. He said that the brain resists modification and with some use, my brain will adapt. I had never really thought of the brain needing an adjustment period before this. After the adjustment period, when I put my glasses on my brain will distinguish how to use the glasses automatically. I must say here that when I first put them on different distances were blurring and the room spun when I moved my head. Now, I hardly know that I am wearing them – other than I can see to type this article! All that was required of me is making a conscious effort (putting them on) – taking action.
Are you spending your time aiming to satisfy your needs or those of other people? Do you know people who regardless of what you do for them are never pleased? We cannot be satisfied and that is the good news! If satisfaction were likely, we would all be smug in our personal lives; we would be unable to succeed. Just as stress is, vital, displeasure is necessary to prompt us to act. Why are so many people unhappy in their jobs and relationships that they seem to be on an emotional roller coaster? Many people are searching for satisfaction rather than happiness. A person who hopes for other people to satisfy them cannot be happy. However, someone who is actively searching for joy can and does find it. There is a fine line between happiness and discontent.
In an earlier post, I wrote about how self-help teaches us to be selfish. Each concept contains aspects that suggest we must be selfish if we want to succeed. In this series and particularly in this conclusion I have gained clarity. The more that you learn and grow the more you have to give. With each method throughout each concept, you learn to think of yourself and validate yourself. This is what I originally referred to as selfish in that article. In order to validate other people in a healthy way we must learn to validate ourselves. Each time we do something for another; it validates us if we are sincere. When we validate another person mechanically, we validate him or her, but not necessarily ourselves. In other words, when we do something for someone else if we do it for ourselves, we have the full effect.
The Law of Attraction is an odd phenomenon. The more I recognize the things that occur in my life, the more it seems to affirm the idea. I have always believed that God provides us with what we need, and what we want. People teaching about the Law of Attraction tell us that we must focus on what we want and eliminate thinking of what we need. This is true, for the most part, because we must feel worthy of receiving. However, I have had incidents where I received what I needed that changed my life! In addition, several weeks ago we needed something and put very little thought toward wanting it. In other words, we did not have a definitive thing in mind or visualize getting it.
I have always been an enthusiastic person, and you could say that I am easily excited. Setting goals is something I never quite understood, but I am learning. This month I set out to accomplish all my summer jobs and did some thinking as I worked. Many of the tasks that I had to do were hard physical labor, in fact, all of them were! I wondered how I could have accomplished them without formulating a goal. The thing is I did have a goal, to tackle the jobs! Without recognizing it, I had set out to complete what I wanted and needed to, developing a true desire. I created an actual need to succeed!
While growing up, I learned to work free; I received no compensation for chores I performed around the house. Being the only girl of five children, I benefited my single parent mom. I remember pretending that I worked for a wealthy woman as I shuffled through the many tasks. This made the labor a pleasure and somewhat rewarding. I learned to work free. There is a value in working without pay as a youngster, as it aids you in becoming a willing adult. I still work free while maintaining our home, yard and helping with the horses. I additionally taught my children to work for the fruits of their labors.
There are so many ideas in the world today designed to help us reach our full potential. There are suggestions on, positive thinking, minimal living, finding our purpose, forgiveness, living in the moment and more complex ideas like The Law of Attraction. Each of the mentioned ideas above has merit and value, maybe you can think of more. They are ideas that can help us improve our overall self-esteem and use our minds effectively. These ideas have certain tools or techniques presented with them to maximize the impact on your life. The Law of Attraction is almost a holistic approach, containing many of them.
In an earlier post “We Are All Unique – There is No Comparison”, I looked at the cause and effect of comparing ourselves to others. The aim of that post was to offer something to consider. I offered why I think making comparisons is harmful. In that post, I provided a tip and at the end of this post, I have included a couple more. I hope this added input will be of some use to you.