Do you find yourself disturbed by what other people think, say or do? Are you exasperated by the way that people seem to treat you? Does it seem like your life is outside of your control, more often than you would like? It could be that you suffer from the need to control or the
The experts tell us that positive thinking is required if we want to succeed in any task. They also imply that negative thinking brings adversity into our lives. Injuries in the workplace occur most to those who dislike their jobs. These people are also inclined to become sick more often than their co-workers do. Negative
We have all heard that everyone deals with grief in their own way, and that we must do it. This emotion is usually associated with a loss of someone we love, but it is more evasive than that. Grief is something we experience even when we perceive an upcoming loss of a marriage, job or money, for example. Many children grieve during and after a divorce and their behavior reflect the emotion. Grief can make us say and do things that are out of character for us. It can cause us to withdraw from loved ones or supporters and depression or fear feels like the norm. Worry is one of the feelings that lead to grief and if left unchecked and exaggerated can leave us feeling lost and alone.
Our vulnerabilities to life are what make us loving and give us the room to be in tune. It is because, of our vulnerabilities, rather than in spite of them that we are worthwhile to the World! Without emotions, we formulate havoc and are in danger of confusion. On the other hand, we can become leery we are unarmed in spite of our adjustments. When this happens, we end up doing what we imagine other people shouldn’t do.
Some people have stated that affirmations do not actually work or at least make a substantial difference. They say that telling ourselves positive things without a firm belief in what we are saying is ineffective. Many believe that writing affirmations and posting them around your home or office increases changes in your belief systems. Some have determined that with time the mind will take on the belief and the self-worth of the individual raises. People begin to believe what they repeat to themselves and this increases the chances of a better quality of life. Writing things down have changed lives as well, because if we can see what we say the mind changes quicker. With the prolonged use of self-help methods, gradual change in attitude, outlook and finally, perception occurs.
We all want something more from life, and getting in touch with exactly what that is challenges us. Some want a better home, or a nice Christmas, for example. I do agree that more is not always better, and having too much stuff causes stress. Financial stress as well as emotional distress is a factor. Nevertheless, we all want something more than what we currently have when it comes to our well-being. We want more happiness, security, and overall comfort. We know what we don’t want because we feel it repeatedly! The problem is that we tend to resist and even reject issues we dislike or would rather ignore. We cannot get anywhere by refusing to consider and reflect on the negative side of our thinking. What we don’t want, is relevant and useful, and this is why positive thinking can hinder.
I read in a book that people who suffer from anxiety have a fear. Of course, they are afraid of many things. However, the author suggested that their main fear is the fear of being unloved. This underlying belief, unconscious as it may be, can play havoc on our thinking and emotional states. It made sense to me when I read this statement, even with confrontation anxiety! When we are afraid to confront or even assert ourselves in a minor way, we feel the beating of our heart and shakiness. This, many interpret as a fear of rejection. However, it may very well be that we are afraid we are unloved by the person, or we see ourselves as unlovable. It is interesting that anxiety and the symptoms can vary and the effects are something that we can become accustomed to on some level. I used to become nervous when it was necessary for me to stand up for myself. Unless it was very important that I did say something, I avoided it at all costs.
Having a philosophy is something that was missing in my life, before I began my journey of self-help. I went through life doing what I knew how to do, and that was to survive. As I began learning and really making contact with what is important to me, I began to develop ideas. Before this time, I must have had a general idea concerning what I believed. As time goes by, I add to my belief system, and certain beliefs alter, as I grow. I asked myself today what is at the core of my world-view, what is the big idea? It amazes me when I think of how life was for me before I began to understand myself. I actually was oblivious as to what I understood and believed. As I continue learning, my mind and heart expand my philosophy.
Have you ever had the feeling that you are forcing yourself to be responsible? Do you know that you should do something and perceive that you just don’t feel like doing it? At times like these, it is easy to convince ourselves that we are unmotivated. However, when we feel like doing something we think that we are motivated. If we equate motivation to desire, we can misjudge ourselves. The desire to do something directly relates to what you want or intend to do. If you lack the desire to do something, it is because your concern is on what you want, to avoid. It is difficult to apply ourselves to what we want to avoid. We still have an inner stimulus to succeed, and it has little, to do with our desire.
This may seem irregular to some of you, but I am enthusiastic about sharing it anyway. My mother never attended any church while we were growing up. She raised us with little structure, especially in the spiritual sense. Mom always told us we could go to whatever church we wanted to. I attended various churches as a guest of friends. For some reason, my friends went to different churches so the diversity for me was huge. I learned with interest about the many churches I attended, some nourishing concepts and some ideas seemed weird to my logic. With each religion, I took away from it what I thought useful and left the other stuff behind.