• 2011 (16)
  • 2010 (141)
  • 2009 (12)

Helping People to Help Themselves – Part Three

August 20, 2010

In an earlier post, I wrote about how self-help teaches us to be selfish. Each concept contains aspects that suggest we must be selfish if we want to succeed. In this series and particularly in this conclusion I have gained clarity. The more that you learn and grow the more you have to give. With each method throughout each concept, you learn to think of yourself and validate yourself. This is what I originally referred to as selfish in that article. In order to validate other people in a healthy way we must learn to validate ourselves. Each time we do something for another; it validates us if we are sincere. When we validate another person mechanically, we validate him or her, but not necessarily ourselves. In other words, when we do something for someone else if we do it for ourselves, we have the full effect.


Positive Thinking cannot Change Your Life

Positive thinking is an important part of validation. However, simply having positive thoughts or looking on the bright side does not change anything. It is the belief in what you think that makes the difference. When you think sincerely that is when the change occurs. The more you think positive the more your outlook can change. You must think positive in a holistic way for this idea to work. Once you begin to have natural positive thoughts toward yourself, you will think the same of other people. Simply thinking well of other people cannot produce the result. You must learn to think well of yourself; this is the perception that you filter your thoughts through toward other people.


The Law of Attraction and Validation

With this concept, we learn to create positive energy and produce feeling with our thoughts. People speculate that the energy will draw goodness or wealth into your life. They say that we must focus on what we want. When you do this, you create the ability for your mind to see the good and positive aspects. When you send good thoughts to the universe and humanity, you are validating, holistically. Simple thinking cannot validate it must be a sincere feeling, and it takes practice. You must develop a profound believe in yourself and using the methods help you accomplish this. This concept with its methods can slowly help you change the way you process information.


Minimalism Can Transform Your Thinking

There are many aspects to minimal living, but the main idea is to minimize your negative thinking or thoughts that hold you back. As you begin to let go of material possessions your perception slowly transforms. You begin to stop holding on to fear and the idea of loss. You start to understand that what you have, does not define who you are. As your thinking transforms and you see yourself in a different light, you see other people differently too. As you stop defining your life by what you have, you validate yourself. You cease using things to validate you. With enough understanding arrived at through this concept you will develop empathy for other people. You come to realize that everyone has value; what he or she has, does not measure their worth. The person is what matters, and as you see this truth in yourself, you see the same truth in other people.


Affirmations and the Benefits of Using Them

Each time you affirm something positive to yourself, you validate. Every time you affirm something regarding the universe or other people, you validate to yourself. This process of confirming that the world is good, I prosper, I am worth, etc. helps you develop a belief in the world around you. This method of self-help must become heartfelt (rise with a level of sincerity) for it to cause change. With time and permanence, you have validated yourself enough to validate other people automatically. What you belief about yourself is what you believe regarding other people. This is why affirmations work as they slowly change your feelings toward yourself.


Altering the Way You Talk To Yourself

Changing the way that you talk to or at yourself is essential. Once you start validating yourself through your thoughts your confidence develops. Confident living is compatible with happiness. If you wait for other people to validate you enough to be satisfied with life, you will be a long time arriving. You can surround yourself with positive people who support you. However, you must learn to love yourself in a way that only you can. Before you can be sincerely kind to other people, you must be that way to you. None of the above concepts can fully help you without self-respect. Developing a respect for life begins with you and filters out.


Being Grateful Changes People from the Inside Out

This is the one self-help method that ties them all together. Each time that you are thankful, it comes from the heart. By counting your blessings in your life and the blessings from other people is a method of finding your sincerity. As you develop a sense of gratitude for the things and people in your life, you validate yourself in an enormous fashion. You begin to see the good in every situation and in every person. This concept like any other works on a profound level and it operates in your heart. This idea humbles us and helps us get in touch with our humanity. Each time you validate by being grateful, you realize that everything is connected.


As Your Perception Expands You Validate

Regardless what self-help concept you use, or what blend (most people use a combination) your level of sincerity grows. As you grow and become the person, you were born to be you are no longer in need of validation. The world validates you and the people in your life through you. Everywhere you look, you see value, chances, and solutions. At a certain point of growth people pleasing, robotic responses, giving with hopes of reward, and use fades from your life. Taking things personal is no longer something that eats at you daily. Validation is a beautiful thing, and you can change your life one sincere thought at a time. Let your “Thank you” be true, “Compliments” be real, and your “Bless You” be received. Thank you everyone for reading this series and sharing in my journey.


For more information on validation I recommend reading “I Don’t Have To Make Everything All Better” – by Gary and Joy Lundberg. This book is available free in This Should Help Library.


1 Comments to “Helping People to Help Themselves – Part Three”

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sandra Hendricks, Sandra Hendricks. Sandra Hendricks said: "Give & Get » Helping People to Help Themselves – Part Three" – http://bit.ly/aBH0TT via @thisshouldhelp2 [...]

  2. Well done, Sandra,

    I found this to be a very comprehensive article on helping in general. Helping and setting boundaries that allow people to empower themselves rather than become dependent and feel helpless is a tricky balance to accomplish. I will pass this on to others.
    Thanks for all you do,