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Manipulation – Where Does It Begin and End?

June 30, 2010

A to ZEarly in my own self-help, I learned about manipulation and the issues surrounding it. I nearly drove myself crazy spotting it every place I turned. Marketers have mind use down to an art or a science. The one thing I have come to believe about manipulation is that another person cannot handle you, unless you are unaware. Thoughts engage feelings. Therefore, we really manipulate ourselves! A marketer’s goal is to get you thinking and trigger your emotions of insecurity. Ads are not the only place mind control thrives.

Manipulation is something we learn at an early age, and carry on perfecting the act throughout our lives. Think about it, as babies we cry and someone comes to our rescue. This is our only form of contact, and it works. Later as we learn to form words, we carry on doing what works for us. Manipulation is a learned habit, and this may be why we are passive-aggressive. On some level, I think that once we are mature, we must learn a new way of communicating. Mainly, though, we must learn to stop manipulating ourselves negatively and this proves most difficult.

I have noticed that sometimes, I misconceive (put my own meaning to) what another person says. When we do this, it can cause us to feel used and uneasy, starting a negative inner dialogue. Often we may conceive another person is trying to achieve something (wants something) when, in fact, the person is innocent of manipulation. The way we process input can really cause us problems, building a wall around our heart. Many times we operate and we are unaware we may be doing it. Often we are on the other end, subjected to another person’s misconception, or misinterpretation. Conflicts develop easily when we are searching for clarity.

Spotting manipulation is helpful on some level, but you must be careful. You could end up driving yourself mad trying to combat it and totally neglect your own growth. There are many different types of mind controls in the world; physiological manipulation and emotional blackmail are two. I am untrained to go into to them on a deep level, so I am adding some links after this post for more facts. Stuff written on the topic of co-dependency is a good source of data for those of you who want to learn more.

Enhancing our language skills and stopping negative inner-dialogue is a great means of reducing the ill effects of manipulation. Asking questions is basic in stopping fallacies; they help us become informed. Many of us are in the habit of trying to control our world and the people in it; learning to affirm ourselves takes practice. The main truth that we need to know about manipulation is that most people practice it on an unconscious level.

Understanding manipulation is a key in getting to know your own mind and awareness. Independent thinking is essential in moving forward with your growth and delving into the issues surrounding self-help. Manipulation is not altogether a bad thing (everything has two sides) we use our minds to change our feelings. This is why affirmations work. Think about it, manipulation can work for us or against us!



2 Comments to “Manipulation – Where Does It Begin and End?”

  1. Hi Sandra, as you can probably guess, I am glad that you chose this topic. :)

    Great article… manipulation is a problem of which many are not aware… Each of us must ask, “why I think it is better to allow these people to manipulate me?”

    We have to learn about manipulation, find the source of it (manipulators) and terminate any contact with people who manipulate us.

    This will lead to a better quality of life, to greater fulfillment, to courage, to better relations with people, and a lot more of benefit for us…

    Again, great article and descriptions. Wishing you the best… Marko

    • Sandra says:

      Hi Marko,

      This is a huge topic, and it is very important to stop someone from manipulating us, I agree. As far as ending any contact with people who manipulate, well… I mean my mother and one of my daughters is this way. I think it is best to learn to not be manipulated than to cut off contact, in some cases. Although I have to say that I do limit contact with people who use manipulation out of habit. Normally, people who use this method are control freaks, who have very little control over their thoughts and feelings.

      It is most important for us to search out this shortcoming within ourselves and work on correcting it.

      Thank you so much for commenting, I value your support. :)

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