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Telling People What We Want Motivates Them

February 23, 2010

Sandra Hendricks, EzineArticles.com Expert AuthorWhy is telling people what you want, important? When we tell others what we want, they visualize clearly. In general, people are reluctant to ask questions that will clarify their thinking, so when we speak about what we want, they are receptive. On the other hand, if we tell someone what we don’t want they are left to assume what we do want. People are disinterested in what other people don’t want, and they hesitate to listen to someone who expresses this. Furthermore, they are reluctant to give you information that can be useful to you.

We all have an innate desire to help people, so telling others what you want, peaks their interest. In addition, we focus when we talk about what we want, and this brings us closer to achievement. There are many people in the world that will provide you with insight and helpful information. Especially when they know, exactly what, it is that you are wanting.

For example, suppose that you are in the market for an excellent second-hand tractor. You tell somebody that you are searching for one, giving the person inside information. This person will automatically have what you said on their mind and think of you if they hear of one. If they do not watch for one for you, they will most likely, consider what you needed, if they hear of one.

If you imply that you need one by chatting about what you don’t want, you will be the furthest person from their mind. You might have related that you dislike cleaning your corrals by hand, or that you get snowed in throughout the wintertime. This does indicate that you have a purpose for a tractor. However, it is less likely to inform the person that you are really searching for one. The individual may imagine that they understand what you are telling them. Nevertheless, unless they act on that assumption, they will not be very beneficial to you. The person may even currently know of someone who is selling a tractor. Unless they inquire if you need or want one, they may not provide you with that knowledge.

The question we have to ask ourselves when we are talking about what we don’t like, or what we don’t want, is; what are we doing? Are we venting and complaining or are we communicating ineffectively?


2 Comments to “Telling People What We Want Motivates Them”

  1. Ellen says:

    This is again a very interesting post. I never thought about that, by telling what you do not want, people get confused and reluctant. Thanks, I will think about that!! Really useful!